How are you all doing?
I wanted to give you guys an update. Since very few will actually bother to read this shit, I'll keep it brief. This is going to be the last journal for a while. I'm NOT leaving DA. That ain't happening.
I've just been thinking a whole bunch recently and I relised more things than I expected. Going back to uni has made me ackowledge the fact that I can and will be able to turn my drawing into a profession and now is the time to become professional about it. This as also brought me to relise how wrong I was about certain issues regarding my art. From when I was in my early teens I have always seeked approval from as many people as possible, that 's why I joined DA. I needed approval, critique and support almost constantly due to my low self-esteem. As I was growing up, I noticed that that problem never really went away, and it drove me to sign up for more and more websites, but I still wasn't getting the visibility I wanted, even after all that time. That, of course, brought me down even further, making me turn my passion into a simple daily need, like eating or sleeping, because its was the only thing I knew I was capable of doing. Going to uni as helped me break through that shell of insecurity and slowly made me love my work again, but the last piece of that shell didn't really crumble till these past few days, when I mumbled a very simple phrase to myself while I was doodleing. "I don't need the approval of strangers.". And that was it, a mantra I kept repeating and everytime it made more and more sense. I do not need the approval of strangers. The amount of followers, subscribers, watchers... it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't make a subsantial difference in my life and work. I will not become a better artist just because I reach so many views. I don't improve my skills based on how many comment on my work. I improve by working, hard, and enjoying with all my heart what I do.
During these few years, I have noticed who really makes a difference in my life and that is my family and my friends, be it in real life or online (Not naming names, but you guys know who you are
). Your support has helped me so much, during good and bad times. I will never know how to thank you enough, because your approval, critique, whatever it is, is worth a thousand times more than all the followers and comments in the world.
Thank you all so much. Hope to hear from you soon
I will keep posting my work online so stay tuned.